On the white piped single iron bed, wearing a punjabi suit, hiding her face under the veil, Kamlesh, a commerce lecturer in a college is lying in a hospital and is weeping bitterly since she has been admitted in this hospital. Her husband Mr Santosh, also a lecturer in a B.Ed. College is sitting on the table, keeping his right hand under his chin, supporting his head and is gazing at the blank white spotless front wall sans blinking his eyes. He looks indifferent towards the sobbing of her wife and is like the front wall - emotionless.
All the four walls, door of the room, adjoining toilet, curtains, iron bed, bed sheet, pillow, table lying with one of the walls and even chair in the room are white - gloom alround. No talks, no expressions, no discussions, no looking at each other, no to and fro - just stillness - no movement. It breaks when Kamlesh asks her husband for some water. He gives. She drinks and again both take their prior positions. After a few minutes Dr Mohinder Kaur comes. “Have you deposited the bill? I will charge double than the normal rate as no one does it. Government has passed very stringent rules against the wrong doers; I have to take a lot of risk, my prestige remains at the stake. But how do the well-educated people like you can be so careless,” She said to the couple. “Anyhow, leave the patient alone with us Mr Santosh,” She said to him. He left.
Santosh entered the room when they left and sat on the same table again. His wife is still sobbing and wiping her tears with her veil. Doctor has applied some medicine on her stomach. The night falls, he and Kamlesh fall asleep.
At midnight Kamlesh feels as somebody is calling her from the bottom of some ocean.
And the calling sound gradually becomes louder and louder. She was not daring to open her eyes but was feeling her whole body restless. Collecting her strength she peeped through one of her eyes and was stunned to see a ball of light on her swollen stomach. She immediately closed it but started trembling due to fear of dazzling light. “What’s this? The first question occurred to her but she has no answer. She closed her fists and eyes tightly. The room had converted in a big furnace in which she was burning now. Feared, she tried to call her husband loudly, “Bubuji, babuji, babuji.” But her voice had choked and didn’t reach even up to her own ears. Helplessly, she tried to sleep but couldn’t as her body was trembling and mind upset due to awe of mysterious light.
“Mother, don’t get afraid, its me, your future angel.” The light spoke. “Don’t feel feared, open your eyes and see my beauty, shining forehead like the rising sun, closed blue eyes like a deep srene blue ocean, small red lips like delicate petals of a rose, this chin, neck, arms, legs and these fingers, my mother. See! Feel the beauty of my developing organs. Watch each organ carefully and especially my developing palpitating heart, the transporter of life in every part of my soul. Do you feel that I have life or I will harm you in any way in future or will eat more than my elder sister Priya or willn’t be a source of income or my birth will be a shame for you or the society willn’t accept me or my father, the so called father who is not concerned about me and is agree with you, willn’t like me? OR the worst reason that I have female sex, tell me what is the reason why, my mother, do you not let me see the world? But, my mother, if the world is like that, so feared from a girl child and so brutal that it can murder even a developing child in he womb then I don’t want to see and come in this world. I am all right here in this ocean, safe and healthy, I don’t want to come out of this ocean because here I have no one to disturb me from developing. I will always be there in your womb.”
Kamlesh is listening each word carefully but is still frightened. She isn’t in a position to decide what’s happening and why? The sound echoes again, “Mother, why are you in hospital? Are you here for regular check up, if so, why they have admitted you here?
No answer.
“Why Papa and you are so sad? It seems as somebody has died or is going to die. Why don’t you talk to me, why are you so uneasy. My heart is sinking due to your dumbness and deafness.” Time hasn’t ripened for my birth too, then why? Oh! Perhaps you are tired of me. Don’t you want me?
At 2 am the door knocked, the light disappeared. She hadn’t answered the sound. She was shifted to Operation Theater and was sent back to the room after half an hour. Her face had faded and still - sans emotions - blank. After sometime she slept due to intoxicant given to her.
The light appeared again not fierce rather extinguishing. “Mother, why did you do so? Light asked her in feeble trembling voice. Good Heavens! How did I address you mother? You can’t be a mother because Mother can’t be a Murderer. Perhaps you haven’t seen how the butchers have slaughtered me only for making some money. You agreed just to get rid of me - a living being. I will show you how I was killed with sharp instruments. You will have to see.”
Kamlesh cries, “No, No, I can’t. Please forgive me,” bursting into tears she said.
Sound shows her how the brutal act of murdering her was accomplished sans emotions in the ball of light like a moving picture from beginning to end.
“You are also one of them who have murdered me.” Sound shrieked and the light extinguished.
Her husband ignorant from all these happenings, as he hasn’t listened or seen anything, saw next morning that her wife isn’t in a position to recognize him or herself. She can’t eat, drink or speak. She can’t feel hot or cold. She is without emotions, feelings and can’t flip her eyelids. She was lying there on the hospital bed like a dead body. She couldn’t be cured. Perhaps she was witnessing the murder perpetually.
It is said that she passed rest of her life lying on the bed in same position.
(Sawtanter has no right over the above picture in any way or means)
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Thanks for appreciation.
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Thanks for comment Sunder ji
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Inspiring read though sad. Liked your approach to the subject.
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Too sad but perhaps reflects reality.
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Thanks for appreciation.
Your comment has great value for me as it has added something more in the meaning as well as description of the story. Really i am feeling it is dramatic which a story should be.
Sawtanter
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The helplessness of a woman who does not have any control over her own body and her own sense of right and wrong, and the callousness of a husband and father comes though the blog. Felt very sad at the dramatic portrayal of this harsh reality.
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Hi Thanks Avinashji
Sawtanter
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Dear Deepak this is the greatest compliment i have ever received from anyone. I hope this will happen soon. I assure you that you r the first person who have shown hope to accomplish my long cherished dream. I also assure u that when my first book will get published i shall tell u.
Sawtanter
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This is very good. You can publish a book very soon. When you do, please inform me so that I can buy it. Well done.
Deepak
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Feticide is an ill. You have truly raised a question - how can a mother be a murderer? Yet worse crimes against women have been meted out by the women.
Regards
Avinash
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