Trauma
Jun 22 2008 | Views 473 |
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Tags: BLOGPRINT Female feticide Domestic voilence Trauma of lossing bliss of motherhood Short Story
Tags: BLOGPRINT Female feticide Domestic voilence Trauma of lossing bliss of motherhood Short Story
Sangeeta entered in bathroom, took off her clothes, hanged them behind the door, closed it and sat down on a small rectangular wooden seat to take morning bath, but felt something very uncommon today - delightful. The four walls painted light green including the ceiling were deliciously matching with the tiles engraved with slightly pink buds - she saw - felt enjoyed. She filled a mug of water from the bucket, splashed some of it on her face and suddenly felt peculiar movement in her body - never felt before. Something has slightly dashed against inside her belly. It hasn’t hurt her rather filled her with ecstasy. Her hand automatically slipped softly on her uncovered stomach where the ecstatic incident had happened and rounded the hand twice on it - felt more enchanted. Oh my God! I’m going to be a mother, one of the greatest blissful blesses of Heavens. It was her first time. Holding her belly softly with both of her hands, raising her head towards the sky she thanked the Creator and said, “O my God! I’m going to a Mother. My child! I’ll be a Mother. I’ll be a Creator, myself."
A new world was breathing in Sangeeta. “My baby! Are you hungry? Do you need something to eat?” How my baby will look either like papa or mama? My love, stopt playing with now, let me take bath, then I will give you whatever you would like to eat.” She talks to her angel. It answers every question by kicking with parts of body. She took her bath quickly tried to kiss her belly and put on her new clothes. The door knocked, “What’s you doing inside, more than an hour has passed. Come out. I have to go to office. I’m getting late.” Ram Lal her husband commanded. She came out, cooked breakfast, packed lunch box and sent her husband to the office - a clerk in a private company.
Whole day she remained in the company of her magical being who filled her with unlimited joy. She ate whatever the demand came from inside. Talked with her child whenever she got chance.
At night the sky was clear, the stars were twinkling and cool breeze was blowing. Sangeeta and Ram laid on the bed placed on the roof under the open sky. “Listen! You are going to become papa, I have felt my child’s presence in my tum today while bathing in the morning,” Sangeeta whispered. “Is it so?” he asked. Ram started dancing before getting the answer. He had known the truth from her blushing face. Jumping on the bed back, taking her into his mighty arms, kissed her cheeks. “Where’s my Son? He asked exuberantly. He picked up front portion of her suit, softly uncovered her stomach, felt the presence of the child by adjoining his ear to the surface and kissed his future child. Keeping belly bare he lay beside his child and said to his wife “We will go to doctor tomorrow for ultrasound. We are modern in our thoughts, so, I want only one child and it should be a Boy not a girl,” he augmented. “But there is no question of boy or girl. A child is a child and it hardly matters what the sex is. Its God’s precious gift and we should accept it in every condition whether we are literate or illiterate. Or if you want only single child because you say that you are well educated, you are modern and living in 21st C then why have you strangled your idea of modernity with a vague question of Boy or Girl. Come out of this hypocrisy and face the reality that is, there’s no difference between a boy and a girl at all and we should accept both equally as both have the Souls sent by Almighty - the Creator. Why are you worrying about the sex of your child? Why are you so inclined towards a Boy and not for a girl? Do the girls don’t have life? Do they have no feelings? Do they not become the support of their parents? Do they not carry the name of their descendents with their existence? Why are you insisting upon the ultrasound? What doubt do you have about your child?
“Stop your nonsense. What do you know? You know nothing about the world. What the girls give? They are always other’s property but the boys always remain with parents, serve them in old age, earn money and carry their descendant’s name. Moreover, you needn’t to teach me. I have seen more world than you. Now, stop talking nonsense, you have to go for ultrasound in the morning with your mother-in-law in the Mata Laxmibai Hospital. I don’t want to see any drama in the morning. My Son!” rounding his hand on the bare stomach of her wife, he said.
“But . . . listen!” she pleaded. “Shut up, let me sleep,” callously he answered. Dialogues finished. They turned their backs against each other and slept. Soon Ram started groaning. But awakening Sangeeta was praying to God, “Oh Almighty! It should be a Son only, otherwise I don’t know what will they do with your other gift.” The Black Night covered everything. No more dialogues - Stillness - faint sobbing - perpetual groaning - no movement - no wind - suffocation alround - grievous calmness was there around her but the angel in the womb is still awoke with her and is trying to sooth mother by doing various playful things. “Don’t move. Don’t let the world know, you are roused. Please sleep my darling.” Wiping her tears she patted. She was nervous because of uncertainty of future and was weeping covering her mouth with her folded veil. She was feeling something wrong in the air - grievous. She doesn’t know herself when she slept - thinking and feeling her angel.
Next morning, Sangeeta’s husband asked her to go to hospital with her mother-in-law Ram Pyari but she was firm not to go for it. She didn’t believe in sex determination test. She was verbally assaulted to go but when she didn’t agree she was physically forced to go and she had no option so she had to.
When they returned home after check up. Husband commanded her “you will have get this sin aborted today.” There was a girl angel developing in her womb. She bluntly refused to do so.
Silence.
After a destructive silence of a few minutes her mother-in-law advised her son that she would not agree this way. Her husband asked her finally in his threatening voice whether she agrees or not but this time also she refused to obey their inhuman act. The home changed into a war field in a few minutes. Her husband gripped her lock, pushed her down towards the dust, made her sit on her knees, slapped on her back, head, anywhere he could hit. She tried to get hold of her veil, tried to stop him, tried to ask him what he was doing, why he was beating, the veil tore, the suit get dusted, pulled her lock back with a jerk, made her to talk him, slapped on her face again, blood bled from her lower lip, nosering broke, colourful bangles scattered, high heel took off and tried to get support to escape. He finally asked, how dare she refuse? Even after this beating, firm on her determination, she denied to abort her child developing in the womb. Husband and mother-in-law got hold of her both arms, took her inside the room, thrashed her against front wall and closed the door from outside. She cried, wept, beat the door, screamed for help but no use. Her eyes wide-open, dusty scattered hair, without veil, dirty torn suit and bare footed she sat down on the floor in a corner of the room. It seemed her that developing baby is not so active as before - playful. “Don’t afraid my love. I’m your mother - creator. I will save you. I will fight for you my child,” she said to herself. Sangeeta changed from Escaper to Destroyer and Protector in a few seconds after feeling her child’s sadness and became firm to fight for her child. With unblinking fierce eyes fixed on the door, tightly closed fists and stony body she started waiting for the door to be opened.
The closed door opened after a long wait of an hour. Before she could do anything her husband, mother-in-law and fatty midwife seized her activities. Holding her from struggling hands and tossing legs they took her to cot lying there. She screamed, cried, tried to bite, jactitated to get herself free but midwife & relatives stuffed her mouth and fixed her with the cot by their mighty threatening hands. She was feeling her whole body tensed, angel in the womb trying to run here and there to hide from fierce looks, hands, intentions and instruments, trying to run out of womb, calling, “My mother! Save me. Father! What I have done wrong to you, why do you want to kill me?” The child crying for help but helpless and hapless, watching what’s happening in the outer world, becoming ready to be slaughtered as there is no option except accepting the death with valour, says, “Kill me, come, kill me but you will have face the dire consequences of this slaughter.” Hearing these prophetic words from the angel in the womb Sangeeta lost her consciousness.
When Sangeeta got conscious, she fiercely started beating her empty belly, pushing it inside with both of her trembling hands mourned “Alas! Where’s my angel,” and fall back on the cot again - senseless - unconscious - fearless - sans emotions - sans inhaling and exhaling with eyes wide open perhaps watching the soul of her angel in the womb flying in the air towards heavens where there are no human beings.
(I have no right over these pictures shown in the above blogpost in any way.)
© Sawtanter., all rights reserved.
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